Suite Nothings by J.M. Jeffries

Kindle Price: 
$2.99
Amazon.com
Available in print from: 
Parker Publishing Inc (www.parker-publishing.com)
Authors Website: 
www.jmjeffries.com

Honey Harlow is in Paris to debut her new lingerie line, Sweet Nothings. Her career is finally going into high gear and the show is the first one to truly showcase her talent. She’s very career-driven and doesn’t want anything to get in the way. Honey has something to prove. The illegitimate daughter or an English Baron and a Vegas showgirl, Honey is more than a pretty face and a great rack. She is smart, driven, articulate and relentless. She is going to be the undisputed queen of the lingerie industry by the time she’s thirty.

Etienne Marais has eluded the clutches of high-fashion Frenchwomen for his whole adult life. At thirty-five he has no desire for entanglements. He has taken a small, family winery and turned it into a luxury goods empire.
And he wants to add Harlow to his empire. But he doesn’t reckon with Honey determination to remain in control of her own future. He sets out to woo her to his company and his bed.
From the Paris catwalks to the French countryside and the glitz of Las Vegas, the wily Frenchman pursues the elusive lingerie designer. And only until the learn to follow their hearts, will they finally find true love.

Bio:

J.M. Jeffries is the award winning writing team of Miriam Pace and Jacqueline Hamilton. Authors of romantic suspense and romantic comedies, they can’t decide if they like killing people more than the like making them laugh. Miriam and Jackie have been writing together for eleven years, though it seems longer on occasion when they are on deadline. Miriam thinks Jackie is a master manipulator. Jackie knows Miriam is a bulldozer. Miriam has a deep and passionate love for shoes, amber jewelry and purebred cats. Jackie collects red lipsticks, Animaniacs memorabilia and steals pens.

Together they’ve written over twenty-two romance novels including the award winning Cold Case Crime Unit series, the critically acclaimed Cupid series and the Emma Award winning book Vegas Bites. They have also appeared in a number of anthologies.

Miriam and Jackie live in Southern California.


Interview with Miriam Pace and Jacqueline Hamilton

What will readers like about your book? 
Jackie and I hope readers will laugh out loud at Honey's adventures. Humor seems to permeate all our books. No matter how we try to write serious, they always end up being funny.

Why did you self publish? 
Jackie and I started our publishing company, Parker Publishing, to help minority women find a place to read about women like them. It expanded to include other black women authors whose voices were not being heard by larger, traditional publishers. Besides our own books, we have published over a hundred books from 60 different authors and hope to continue to give these women a voice.

What is your writing process?
Sometimes our writing process is complicated. We write together and feed off each other's contribution to the story. Jackie excells in dialogue and I do detail and description. Sometimes we argue about what's going to happen less, but we've published over twenty books, both independently and through other publishers.

How long does it take you to write your first draft? 
Usually around three months.

What inspired you to write this particular story? 
The character of Honey Harlow made an appearance in another book and was so funny, we knew she needed her own story.

Somebody Tell Aunt Tillie She's Dead by Christiana Miller

Kindle Price: 

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Available from: 

Amazon US Kindle

Amazon US Paperback

Barnes & Noble 

Smashwords 

Diesel
Authors Website: 

www.christianamiller.com


Somebody Tell Aunt Tillie She's Dead

A little magic can go a long way -- to really screwing up a girl's life!

Mara is having the worst month of her life. At least, that’s what her cards tell her and they’ve never been wrong. She's evicted from her apartment, loses her job and is banned from Beverly Hills. So when the tarot cards predict her imminent demise, she uses a little magic to make her world right.

Suddenly, an aunt she’s never met dies, leaving Mara as her sole heir. But when Mara moves into her inherited home, she discovers Aunt Tillie never moved out. She’s still one pissed-off old lady, even post-mortem, and she blames Mara’s magical meddling for her death.

When Mara accidentally releases a demon and awakens the spirit of the most powerful witch in history, Tillie’s ready to kill her -- literally. It’s the only way she can think of to save the girl from herself. The witch and the demon, however, have other plans for Mara’s body.

Bio:

Christiana Miller is a recovering TV writer and a frequently overwhelmed mom. If her life was a TV show, it would be an off-the-wall dramedy, full of quirky characters and unusual situations. She's had her DNA shot into space (where it now resides on the International Space Station), she's been the voices of all the female warriors on Mortal Kombat II and III, and she's been serenaded by Klingons at a pool party. You can check out more of her quirky adventures at www.christianamiller.com

Excerpt 

SOMEBODY TELL AUNT TILLIE SHE'S DEAD

One of the problems with being a witch is when you ask the universe a question, it generally gives you an answer. Or just enough of one to ruin a perfectly good week.

But since it was my birthday...

And since I was an eternal optimist...

And mostly 'cause I was stuck at the longest red light in the history of traffic, with nothing else to do...

I dug my tarot deck out of my purse and pulled three cards for the coming year.

Death.

Three of Swords.

The Tower.

Transformation. Sorrow. Change through destruction. Happy birthday to me.

Damn it. I shouldn't have looked. You'd think I'd know better by now. Damn tarot cards always suckered me into peeking into my future and I just about always regretted it. Because the hell of it was...

They were usually right.

* * *

After a quick stop at Trader Joe's, I was finally home. I propped the grocery bag on my hip, wrestled open the wrought iron gate and placed my hand on my mailbox. Mara Stephens, Apt 1-C.

I stood for a second, hoping my unemployment check was in there and tried to read the vibes. This was a game I always played with myself -- a small psychic exercise to keep my 'sight' sharp. But I didn't feel any sense of urgency or hope. Just a whopping dose of dread.

Great. So my guess was no check, but at least one major bill I'd have to pay. I unlocked the box and quickly sorted through the mail. Sure enough -- a sale flyer from the Crooked Pantry, a birthday card from a temp agency and a pink notice from the Dept. of Water and Power.

Good thing I had plenty of candles to fall back on. Tucked into the back of the mailbox was a reminder about the rent. At least that was one thing I didn't need to worry about. Lenny knew I was good for it. How much longer I'd be able to pay the rent though... That thought made me queasy.

Suddenly, a wave of panic hit my stomach and clenched it hard. Forget crawling, gooseflesh positively raced across my arms. I struggled to breathe. Whatever was wrong, it all seemed to be coming from the direction of my apartment.

I dropped my mail into the grocery bag and peeked around the corner of the mail stand. Behind the screen door, my front door was wide open.

Shit! I ducked back behind the mailboxes and fumbled through my purse for my cell phone and dialed 9-1-1.
Busy. Bloody hell. No wonder the crime rate was so high in Los Angeles.

If I was lucky, it would just be a break-in. A simple case of anonymous robbery.

But as I crept closer, what I saw made my breath catch in my throat.

Great. Just freaking great. Why did it have to be her? Why couldn't it have just been some whacked-out crack-head carting off my TV?

Interview with Christiana Miller

What will readers like about your book? 

It's got chick-lit attitude, mixed with a supernatural storyline. The characters are quirky -- even the non-human ones! So, for people who like their paranormal stories mixed with a lot of humor, this will appeal to them. Also, a surprising amount of research went into the book, so this will also appeal to people who view the supernatural as part of their everyday lives -- I've tried to keep things as authentic as possible, so that the various walks of life and alternative lifestyles reflected in the story are accurately represented.

Why did you self publish? 

I didn't want to spend another few years chasing the publishing-go-round. I had already spent years writing and rewriting the story, and I wanted to get it out to the marketplace. It was the only way I could get it out of my head, so I could start working on the next one. I knew I had a niche book, a genre book, and traditionally, that's the type of book that works best in the self-publishing arena.

What is your writing process? 

It's always a little bit different. I try to challenge myself as much as possible. If I'm getting used to outlining, I'll write a seat-of-the-pantser. If I'm getting too used to winging it, I'll outline. It keeps things interesting. Normally, what I do is have a very, very loose outline, so I have some idea of where I'm going. But how the characters choose to reach that destination is frequently a surprise.

How long does it take you to write your first draft? 

Normally, I write scripts, and I'm ruled by deadlines. This was my first novel, so it took an unbelievably long time as I had a lot of learning to do along the way. While I've always been a heavy-duty reader, learning to write a novel is a skill of its own. Usually, scripts take me anywhere from one week to two months for a first draft, depending on whether they're features or TV, whether I'm getting paid for them or they're on spec. I'm not sure how long this novel took for a first draft, as I kept rewriting it along the way. I love to rewrite, so I can get kind of obsessive about it. My guess is somewhere between six months and a year. But I was also writing other projects at the same time, so it's hard to tell.

What inspired you to write this particular story? 

I went to visit my dad when he was dying, and the story and characters popped into my head one night. So I started writing everything down. It actually started with Lisette's story, which is set in the past, and eventually, the character of Mara showed up, who would turn out to be the modern-day protagonist, and Lisette's story became part of Mara's story. Also, I had a close friend whose pet toad was named Lord Grundleshanks, which has got to be the best name for a toad, ever. I loved that name. And when Lord Grundleshanks died, I promised my friend I'd immortalize him in a story.

Thank you for this opportunity to talk to you and your readers!

   

The Secret Diary of Alice in Wonderland, Age 42 and Three-Quarters by Barbara Silkstone

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Available from:
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Kindle UK 

Author's websites:
www.thesecretdiaryofaliceinwonderland.com
barbswire-ebooksandmore.blogspot.com

A murder by beheading sends Alice Harte, reluctant real estate broker for thugs, running into the arms of Nigel Channing, a charming British con man.

This first in a series of criminally funny fables is set in Miami and London. Fans of Stephanie Plum will cheer for Alice as she watches her back in attempting to keep her head, while being stalked by Nigel's daft ex-wife and inept, but dangerous mobsters. Alice's world is filled with memorable characters strangely reminiscent of Alice in Wonderland.

Nigel, a chubby John Cleese with serious dress-code problems, whisks Alice to England. The plot trips along at a cracking pace with Alice flinging zingers like a drive-by shooter.

After Alice discovers a gangster's freshly beheaded body in his Miami mansion, she launches a desperate self-defense in a kangaroo court. But in the middle of the trial a small piece of evidence opens her eyes.

Barbara Silkstone Bio

When you’re a freelance writer with a quirky sense of humor, being in the right place at the right time helps a lot. If I just stand still for five minutes… wham! Something funny and worth writing about will happen to me. I’ve accidentally sky dived, been stalked by crazies, and ran off with a real life White Rabbit.

I’m the author of The Secret Diary of Alice in Wonderland, Age 42 and Three Quarters the first in a series of criminally funny fables. The second book in the series is Wendy & the Lost Boys is scheduled for release this summer.

The Adventures of a Love Investigator, 527 Naked Men & One Woman is the non-fiction account of my one-on-one odyssey into the minds of over 500 men.

Interview with Barbara Silkstone

What will readers like about The Secret Diary

This is a comic mystery – a contemporary spin of a classic. There is a saying that there are no new stories, only new ways to tell old stories. Ms. Silkstone took the original Alice in Wonderland, and deftly wove it into something uniquely her own. Throughout the story there are continual references to the original, as the main character is enamored with AIW. This book was a fun, fast paced read and almost as strange as the original AIW, in a good way. 

I loved watching the courtroom scenes place out. Ohhh the dirty little secrets all coming to light and taking out the bad guys one by one… great! Ms. Silkstone’s story was very well written. I loved the descriptions throughout the story, they covered everything from the sight and sounds of Alice’s life to the smells of rotting fish and fright and horror.

Why did I self-publish and why an ebook?

As I stood in a tent in the blazing Miami sun signing copies of my first book…. The Adventures of a Love Investigator, 527 Naked Men & One Woman - I thought there had to be an easier way to become a best-selling author. Traveling the highways, attending publicity events sold books but it was taking its toll on my patience. I wanted to write not travel. When Kindle appeared on the horizon I knew I had found a home. Now I can sit in my garret with a nice view and write all the time. My books sell by the thousands and I’m a happy author.

What is your writing process?

I get an idea and brew on it for weeks until one day… there it is. I don’t outline. I usually know where I want the story to go, but sometimes my characters take control and surprise me.

What was your inspiration for this story?

I realized that most folks are living one fairytale or another. Lewis Carroll, the author of the original Alice in Wonderland, seemed to understand that as human beings we skate on the edge of logic. I love how he played with words. I took his Alice as my inspiration.

Excerpt:

Minutes later, we were back in our room. I shook but not from the cold. Waiting for the other shoe to drop can make you pretty quaky. I retreated to the bathroom to calm my jitters. I thought I knew the heart of Nigel, but was I ready for his body?

After a proper amount of time, I peeked out the door. Nigel stood there holding a shirt to hide his tummy. He was a large man with an excess of stomach that rolled over his boxers. He had a burly mat of chest hair. His most redeeming quality was that in the half-light of our room he did look a bit like a shorter, chubbier version of John Cleese. My prayers were answered. I kissed his cold cheek. “Show me how an Englishman makes love.”

“Darling, I’ve not had much experience. I must claim a certain innocence in sexual matters,” he confessed.

I had to let him know how I felt about who he was behind this bulky thing that was his body. I was at once Alice with the Rabbit and Beauty and the Beast. I felt good and comfortable and un-threatened. I watched him trot about in his Marks and Spencer tailored striped boxers and knew he was mine. What other woman could see past his appearance to the gem that lay beneath?

I slipped into the marble bathroom and took out my bag of tricks. I slathered on the most expensive of fixings designed to make me appear dewy and freshly scrubbed. Half an hour later I emerged from the bathroom. Being seen as natural can take a long time. I was wearing my new ivory satin Victoria Secret bias cut negligee and a smile.

Nigel lay in the bed, his eyes two big blue eggs above the cream colored sheets. I scrambled under the covers and slid my legs down along his.

“Ouch.” I yelped and jumped from the covers, afraid I had been attacked by some exotic animal.

“What is it? Is it something alive?” He scrambled from the bed, terrified.

This was the first of many quirks I would learn about my lover. Lessons are part of relationships aren’t they? I pasted a band-aid on the four-inch scratch on my right leg. I would have to politely tell him about cutting those toe nails. They were as large as Wilkinson’s swords and twice as sharp.

The Book of Awful by Romi Moondi

Kindle Price:
$2.99
Available from:
Amazon US Kindle
Amazon Kindle UK
Author's websites:
romimoondi.wordpress.com

Wouldn't it be nice if we all held hands and pooped rainbows? Sure, but until our world becomes a technicolor paradise, what's the REAL way for people to get happy? Avoiding catastrophe.

This parody of the bestselling "The Book of Awesome" outlines one awful scenario after the next, to demonstrate how much worse life could really be. Whether it's a world where you finally meet your evil twin, the cancellation of Facebook, or the discovery of unicorns that forever alters society, you'll feel relieved that you're only READING about it.

For ease of comprehension, the author lends her humble experiences to several topics, and leaves no stone of embarrassment unturned (not even the one where she had head lice as a grown adult).

By the end the reader won't feel "awesome", but overwhelming relief?

Highly probable.

Interview with Romi Moondi  (sort of)

Usually there is an interview and a Bio but Romi is not your usual author so this is not my usual type of interview. Enjoy. :)

Do you really care what university I went to, whether or not I have a fuzzy cat named Snowball (his name is actually Sammy), and how many years I've been writing for?

I will assume you're cooler than that, so the answer of course is no.

What's left then?

Okay I got it:

-I did not shy away from wearing denim-top-to-bottom in high school (there is a direct inverse relationship between how much denim I wore and how few tongues were launched down my throat at school dances...or anywhere in high school at all).

-I'm continually baffled by that Malaysian baby whose father let him smoke two packs of cigarettes a day. That baby had so many fat rolls, and I thought cigs were supposed to be slimming.

-I always hated those insufferable couples who would cuddle and make out on the subway...until I became half of one. But now I'm back to being none of one so I hate them again.

This illustrious biography gives a pretty clear idea of what "The Book of Awful" is like. Let's just say that I couldn't come to grips with how positive and gooey the bestselling "The Book of Awesome" was...and so I wrote a parody.

As for you, potential reader, I guarantee "The Book of Awful" will make you laugh; if it doesn't I will give you my home address, so you can show up at my door and administer a beating.

Hopefully it won't come to the beating option, because I really do think you'll laugh when you read my book. Laughter may seem like a tiny thing, but laughter releases endorphins which are basically like chemical drugs, so my book is like a bag full of drugs for only $2.99.

WHAT A DEAL!

Excerpt 

If You Couldn’t Buy A Body Pillow

I’m a cuddler.

But I’m also an expert at being single. By the way, take any negative-sounding term (single, lazy, cross-eyed) and preface it with "expert." Your confidence will soar. 

So confession time: being alone but needing something “graspable” for sleep has been a sad contradiction in my life. In my teenage years, with not a single boy sampling “milkshakes” in my "yard," what was I to do? I tried my best to cuddle with my standard pillow, but it wasn’t the same as a man (unless it was a replica of a “little person” or wood nymph).

Then a few years back, a revolution was born. 

It was a pillow that could span from head to toe, and a pillow that was available…EVERYWHERE!

Talk about a breakthrough for desperate singles.

For years before the body pillow, lonely hearts had to slip into sex shops under cover of night, searching for the one blow-up doll that would give the song “Two Become One” some personal meaning (and I don’t care what anyone says, but “Two Become One” is the best Spice Girls song and “Always Be There” can suck it).

More recently things became discrete and as close to real as possible, but at what cost? 

It was the "Real Doll," and from the comfort of your home you could order it online (a dirty little Fed-Ex delivery secret). 

The Real Doll boasted the traits of being pliable yet sturdy, with the ability to warm you like an oven (or plug you like a cork in a wine bottle, depending on which gender of “Real Doll” we’re discussing). But at a price tag of thousands of dollars? Hardly a solution for us common folk.  

So with blow-up dolls and Real Dolls as unlikely fixes to the single person’s problem, the hope for having manufactured love was slipping away. 

Then came these precious "body pillows," which made love-simulation worth having again!

You can buy your body pillow at a totally non-judging place like Ikea. If you’re still a little nervous grab a kitchen tool as well, it’ll legitimize your purchase in a flash (just remember that a spatula to some is considered slutty, so stick with something safe like a melon baller). 

Don’t rush out of the store or you’ll get "made." Instead you should savour a one-dollar Ikea breakfast like the rest of ‘em, and trust me you’ll blend right in.

Once your body pillow’s safely at home let the fun begin! Customization options are as broad as your imagination, but if you’re looking for a useful starting point, just remember two important tips:

1: The Internet is jammed with lovely pictures of your Hollywood crushes

2: Photo-quality printing paper is reasonably priced

I will say no more.

So even if you’re destined to be alone, just remember how much worse your dateless predecessors had it. The world is your playground, and a snuggly, simulated lover’s just a G-rated shopping trip away!   








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Happiness May Vary by Cristian YoungMiller

Kindle Price:
$2.99
Available from:
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Barnes & Noble
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Author's websites:
www.CristianYoungMiller.com

Some people find happiness by listening to their hearts, others their minds, but Ben listens to his alcoholic, verbally abusive penis and things don't work out quite as planned. 'Happiness May Vary' is a story about what happens when two heads are not necessarily better than one.'

Everybody vs The Ferret by Cristian YoungMiller

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Available from:
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Author's websites:
www.CristianYoungMiller.com

In Everybody vs The Ferret: 1, the boy fruitheads elicit the help of a internet obsessed talking ferret to get revenge for a humiliating stunt orchestrated by the girl fruitheads. The dreaded Michael Jackson device is enabled.

Based on characters from the Everybody Masturbates book series, the Everybody vs The Ferret books are written in the style of the animated TV show South Park. In every book, Billy, Jack and their pet ferret battle Candy, Tia and the girls in the cold war being waged over who will rule their school.

Fixing Cupid by Cristian YoungMiller

Kindle Price:
$2.99
Available from:
Amazon US Kindle
Author's websites:
www.CristianYoungMiller.com

Ben Bonner is an uptight, conservative lawyer who has everything except for love. After one heartbreak too many, his best friend Carey arranges for him to move in with a magical character named Jack. Urban legend has it that whoever lives with Jack will immediately find their soul mate and live happily ever after. However this match comes with a catch because Jack is also a middle-aged party animal. And although he finds his roommates love, Jack also ruins every other aspects of their life.

Desperate to find his special one, Ben moves in and immediately meets Anna Henderson, a smart, beautiful woman who takes Ben’s breath away. Anna, though, isn’t the type to sit around waiting for a man. She’s witty, spirited and she has a few secrets of her own. In fact, she isn’t even sure how much she likes Ben… which makes it too bad that in his frustration, Ben breaks Jack’s Cupid-like powers. With his powers gone, not only is Jack unable to get Anna to fall in love, but no one else in the world will be able to fall in love either.

So now with his life crumbling around him and the love of his life fading away, it becomes essential for Ben to get Anna’s help so that together they can; fix Jack, help the world to love again, and just maybe, live happily ever after.

These Hellish Happenings by Jennifer Rainey

Kindle Price: 

$0.99

Available from: 

Amazon US Kindle
Amazon US Paperback

In 1707, hapless vampire Jack Bentley made a pact with the Devil in order to escape a vampire hunt. Dealing with Satan seemed better than your standard angry mob at the time. But three centuries later, Satan is ready to collect His dues, whether the vampire likes it or not. He's taking Jack to Hell, and He's even got a job picked out for him down below: an eternal position at the Registration Office of the Damned.

Jack attempts to adjust to life on the Administrative Level of Hell, where fire and brimstone have been replaced by board meetings and the occasional broken copier. But the whiny complaints of the recently deceased and the legions of suited, cookie-cutter demons are the least of his problems. Try adding to the equation a dead ex-lover, a dangerous attraction to his high-ranking demon companion, Alexander Ridner, and the sticky and distorted anti-vampire politics of a Hell that is surprisingly like our own world.

Doodling by Jonathan Gould

Kindle Price:
$2.99
Available from:
Amazon US Kindle
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Authors Website:
Blog
Goodreads Author Page
After Neville Lansdowne falls off the world, he finds himself adrift in an asteroid field full of eccentric characters. But escaping from the hustle and bustle of the world is not so easy and Neville soon finds himself on an urgent quest to save the asteroid field. Douglas Adams meets Lewis Carroll (with just a touch of Gulliver’s Travels) in this engaging comic fantasy.

From the Trailer Park to the E.R. by Matthew Carpenter

Not so typical stories from the emergency room. Uses humor to detail the ongoing and increasing problem of emergency room abuse. Contains short stories as well as generalized thoughts from emergency nurses.

Can't Get There From Here by Jeff Tompkins

In this book of more than 50 humor columns and other writings, Jeff Tompkins battles a killer spider, has a medical professional assault his eyeballs, identifies the oddest job in the world, searches for a place to live and offers some suggestions to make spelling bees more exciting.

Go inside a giant fiberglass hot dog on wheels, as Jeff describes his ride in the Oscar Mayer Wienermobile.

Readers will find out what happens when you Google yourself too much, how to avoid being helped by a disgusting deli employee and why you shouldn’t bring a frozen mouse to work.

This book also contains a number of classified C.I.A. documents. That number is: zero.

Steve Martin says, “This is the funniest collection of humor pieces I’ve read in a long time.” (Legal disclaimer: Not the famous Steve Martin. This is the Steve Martin who lives down the street from the author and was not paid very much to say that.)

Ratticus: A True Tale from Critter Corner by Raymond Birdsell

One Man.  One Rat.  One Of Them Must Die.

The true short story of one family, one critter, and one month's worth of problems.

A comedic look at the travails of being a homeowner and dealing with the occasional uninvited houseguest.

Check out our interactive blog website where you can weigh in on the story, see actual pictures of the “critter” in question – and some of the destruction it left behind - and leave your own “Critter Gone Wild” stories.

Slim to None by Jenny Gardiner

Abbie Jennings is Manhattan's top food critic until her expanding waistline makes staying incognito at restaurants impossible. Her cover blown on Page Six of the New York Post, her editor has no choice but to bench her—and suggest she use the time off to bench-press her way back to anonymity. Abbie’s life has been built around her career, and therefore around celebrating food. Forced to drop the pounds if she wants her primo gig back, Abbie must peel back the layers of her past and confront the fears that have led to her current life.

A Crafty and Devious God by Ted Krever

At the height of the first dotcom boom, when novices were becoming billionaries before lunch and all a girl had to do to be a sensation was take her clothes off now and then, a middle-aged man going through a painful, rancorous divorce gets involved with an Internet exhibitionist. A brilliant and ambitious exhibitionist, who’s determined to parlay her site into fame and an IPO -and who’s not above concocting a fictional life story to ensure getting the attention she wants.
And then the story and the life begin to knit together all too closely…

Better Off Without Him by Dee Ernst

Mona Berman is an expert at Happily Ever After – after all, she’s a best-selling Romance writer and happy endings are what she does best. So when her husband of twenty years leaves her for somebody 15 years younger, 20 pounds lighter, and French, she’s got a lot of adjusting to do, both personally and professionally. Lucky for her she’s got three savvy teen daughters, a few good friends, and Ben, the world’s sexiest plumber, to help her along the way. First she decides that her next book will be the anti-romance – her heroine finds the best part of her life AFTER getting dumped. Next her daughters tell her she needs to start practice dating, and summer at the Jersey shore is the perfect place for that. She’s also juggling her soon-to-be-ex, a loony aunt, and a match-making neighbor, while Ben is sending her romance-driven imagination into overdrive. Can Mona’s life imitate art? Can she write her own happy ending?

Nazi Werewoofs by Karl Larew

Nazi Werewoofs" is a spoof on James Bond/vampire/werewolf type stories. It is a sequel to the author's "Bad Vampires" (2009), but it can be read without having read the previous book. Good Vampires are more or less normal humans with a need for little sips of blood, usually from willing normal human friends. Bad Vampires are the same but they usually kill their unwilling donors for fun. Bad Vampire Baron Wolfgang von Verdammte is trying to create a neo-Nazi empire by developing werewolves to fight his enemies, the Good Vampires. Good Vampire Lance and his normal human girlfriend, Carol, plus their comrades, must stop the Baron and his creatures.

About Bad Vampires

Good vampires are humans with a metabolic need for little sips of blood from willing normal human donors. Bad vampires sip to kill. Good Vampire Lance gets his sips from his normal human girl friend, Carol; he uses lancets so as not to bruise her. Together they battle Bad Vampire Elmer and his cohort, Mad Scientist Dr. Beasly, who are trying to create a movie to hypnotize potential victims, using a giant diamond named Gladstone. After many car chases, ambushes, and explosions (of Mad Scientist laboratories, for example), the issue remains in doubt--until the very end....

About Take the All-Mart!

Take the All-Mart! is a post-apocalyptic, pre-singularity science fiction buddy comedy road trip adventure.

The world's been flattened and rebuilt a dozen times over -- but not the Wasteland. It stayed flattened, the perfect place for a couple of cyborg reprobates on the run. Reprobates like Trip, with a head full of mind-machine interface gear, and his brother Rudy, his gut home to a chemical factory constantly pumping THC directly into his bloodstream. Fleeing to the Wasteland in their two-hundred-year-old mind-controlled Dodge after Trip left a warlord queen on the altar and Rudy almost killed her cat, they need to score big to keep the cannibal bounty hunters off them. And what better way to do that than by robbing the beer capital of the Wasteland blind? It's a great plan, until Trip gets distracted by the locals -- one sexy, orgy-loving cybergal local in particular.
And when that cybergal gets herself swallowed up by the Wasteland’s least popular, most horrifying tourist attraction, the world devouring nightmare of a shopping experience called the All-Mart, Trip’s got no choice but to go in after her. Because she just might, maybe, possibly be the “one” — but how will he know until they’ve had a second date?

About The Truth About Dating

When a funny, but introverted woman embarks on a quest to find a man, humorous and heartbreaking events redirect her to a different path in life.

Bio
Julie Christensen is the author of Searching for Meredith Love and The Truth About Dating. A native New Yorker, she studied painting at Pratt Institute and worked briefly in advertising on Fifth Avenue before she realized that her "creative" job was sucking the life out of her soul.

About Dating my vibrator

Dating My Vibrator and other true fiction is a collection of nine true and almost true short stories all based (unfortunately) on my own experience: dating, divorce, desperation—all that good stuff. After nineteen years of marriage I was thrust into a brave new world of dating: online, offline, standing in line, listening to lines. And I have survived to tell these tales. CAUTION: if you’re contemplating divorce, these stories may convince you to consider marriage counseling. If you’re out there dating, chances are you will relate. OMG! Here’s a scary thought: maybe you’ve met some of these guys. Names have been changed to protect the guilty. Joe Konrath gave it 5 stars and says, “Pure Comedic Brilliance.”