Thursday, August 25, 2011

The Secret Diary of Alice in Wonderland, Age 42 and Three-Quarters by Barbara Silkstone

The Secret Diary of Alice in Wonderland, Age 42 and Three-Quarters
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A murder by beheading sends Alice Harte, reluctant real estate broker for thugs, running into the arms of Nigel Channing, a charming British con man.

This first in a series of criminally funny fables is set in Miami and London. Fans of Stephanie Plum will cheer for Alice as she watches her back in attempting to keep her head, while being stalked by Nigel's daft ex-wife and inept, but dangerous mobsters. Alice's world is filled with memorable characters strangely reminiscent of Alice in Wonderland.

Nigel, a chubby John Cleese with serious dress-code problems, whisks Alice to England. The plot trips along at a cracking pace with Alice flinging zingers like a drive-by shooter.

After Alice discovers a gangster's freshly beheaded body in his Miami mansion, she launches a desperate self-defense in a kangaroo court. But in the middle of the trial a small piece of evidence opens her eyes.

Barbara Silkstone Bio

When you’re a freelance writer with a quirky sense of humor, being in the right place at the right time helps a lot. If I just stand still for five minutes… wham! Something funny and worth writing about will happen to me. I’ve accidentally sky dived, been stalked by crazies, and ran off with a real life White Rabbit.

I’m the author of The Secret Diary of Alice in Wonderland, Age 42 and Three Quarters the first in a series of criminally funny fables. The second book in the series is Wendy & the Lost Boys is scheduled for release this summer.

The Adventures of a Love Investigator, 527 Naked Men & One Woman is the non-fiction account of my one-on-one odyssey into the minds of over 500 men.

Interview with Barbara Silkstone

What will readers like about The Secret Diary

This is a comic mystery – a contemporary spin of a classic. There is a saying that there are no new stories, only new ways to tell old stories. Ms. Silkstone took the original Alice in Wonderland, and deftly wove it into something uniquely her own. Throughout the story there are continual references to the original, as the main character is enamored with AIW. This book was a fun, fast paced read and almost as strange as the original AIW, in a good way. 

I loved watching the courtroom scenes place out. Ohhh the dirty little secrets all coming to light and taking out the bad guys one by one… great! Ms. Silkstone’s story was very well written. I loved the descriptions throughout the story, they covered everything from the sight and sounds of Alice’s life to the smells of rotting fish and fright and horror.

Why did I self-publish and why an ebook?

As I stood in a tent in the blazing Miami sun signing copies of my first book…. The Adventures of a Love Investigator, 527 Naked Men & One Woman - I thought there had to be an easier way to become a best-selling author. Traveling the highways, attending publicity events sold books but it was taking its toll on my patience. I wanted to write not travel. When Kindle appeared on the horizon I knew I had found a home. Now I can sit in my garret with a nice view and write all the time. My books sell by the thousands and I’m a happy author.

What is your writing process?

I get an idea and brew on it for weeks until one day… there it is. I don’t outline. I usually know where I want the story to go, but sometimes my characters take control and surprise me.

What was your inspiration for this story?

I realized that most folks are living one fairytale or another. Lewis Carroll, the author of the original Alice in Wonderland, seemed to understand that as human beings we skate on the edge of logic. I love how he played with words. I took his Alice as my inspiration.


Minutes later, we were back in our room. I shook but not from the cold. Waiting for the other shoe to drop can make you pretty quaky. I retreated to the bathroom to calm my jitters. I thought I knew the heart of Nigel, but was I ready for his body?

After a proper amount of time, I peeked out the door. Nigel stood there holding a shirt to hide his tummy. He was a large man with an excess of stomach that rolled over his boxers. He had a burly mat of chest hair. His most redeeming quality was that in the half-light of our room he did look a bit like a shorter, chubbier version of John Cleese. My prayers were answered. I kissed his cold cheek. “Show me how an Englishman makes love.”

“Darling, I’ve not had much experience. I must claim a certain innocence in sexual matters,” he confessed.

I had to let him know how I felt about who he was behind this bulky thing that was his body. I was at once Alice with the Rabbit and Beauty and the Beast. I felt good and comfortable and un-threatened. I watched him trot about in his Marks and Spencer tailored striped boxers and knew he was mine. What other woman could see past his appearance to the gem that lay beneath?

I slipped into the marble bathroom and took out my bag of tricks. I slathered on the most expensive of fixings designed to make me appear dewy and freshly scrubbed. Half an hour later I emerged from the bathroom. Being seen as natural can take a long time. I was wearing my new ivory satin Victoria Secret bias cut negligee and a smile.

Nigel lay in the bed, his eyes two big blue eggs above the cream colored sheets. I scrambled under the covers and slid my legs down along his.

“Ouch.” I yelped and jumped from the covers, afraid I had been attacked by some exotic animal.

“What is it? Is it something alive?” He scrambled from the bed, terrified.

This was the first of many quirks I would learn about my lover. Lessons are part of relationships aren’t they? I pasted a band-aid on the four-inch scratch on my right leg. I would have to politely tell him about cutting those toe nails. They were as large as Wilkinson’s swords and twice as sharp.


  1. Thank you Nadine! Hugs from Florida... whoa... there goes Hurricane Irene...!

  2. What a fun post! Thank you. I've read and enjoyed The Secret Diary of Alice in Wonderland, Age 42 and Three-Quarters, but I had to read the excerpt and laugh all over again.