Thursday, May 26, 2011

Fixing Cupid by Cristian YoungMiller

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Ben Bonner is an uptight, conservative lawyer who has everything except for love. After one heartbreak too many, his best friend Carey arranges for him to move in with a magical character named Jack. Urban legend has it that whoever lives with Jack will immediately find their soul mate and live happily ever after. However this match comes with a catch because Jack is also a middle-aged party animal. And although he finds his roommates love, Jack also ruins every other aspects of their life.

Desperate to find his special one, Ben moves in and immediately meets Anna Henderson, a smart, beautiful woman who takes Ben’s breath away. Anna, though, isn’t the type to sit around waiting for a man. She’s witty, spirited and she has a few secrets of her own. In fact, she isn’t even sure how much she likes Ben… which makes it too bad that in his frustration, Ben breaks Jack’s Cupid-like powers. With his powers gone, not only is Jack unable to get Anna to fall in love, but no one else in the world will be able to fall in love either.

So now with his life crumbling around him and the love of his life fading away, it becomes essential for Ben to get Anna’s help so that together they can; fix Jack, help the world to love again, and just maybe, live happily ever after.


Cristian YoungMiller was born in the Bahamas and now lives in Los Angeles. He received his degree in Psychology from Beloit College and has worked as a writer, editor and producer for Disney, Vivendi Universal Games and other companies. Since then he has gone on to publish multiple books on topics ranging for sexual advice to spirituality. His latest works are novels for those that like to laugh and be scared.

Are you someone who loves telling jokes or is your humor just kept to writing?

Cristian: I actually don’t know any jokes. I think that I have a very dry sense of humor. In fact I can remember the first that I made an attempt to be funny. I was 14 and my group of friends were in a circle making each other laugh. I was a very serious kid so when this had happened before I never joined in. And after this had happened enough times I decided that I didn’t like being left out and that I would wait from my opportunity and join in.

When the opportunity came I didn’t know whether anyone would laugh at what I had to say so I said it in a very dry way. After I did everyone in the group stopped and stared at me. There was silence. After a moment someone jumped in with something funny again and the laughs continued.

I knew that I hadn’t failed. I understood that my friends simply weren’t sure what was going on. So I waited again for an opportunity and when it came I said something else. This time everyone looked at me, realized that I had meant what I said in a funny way and everyone broke out laughing. From that point forward I was one of the funny ones in the group.

The first time I ever tried to be consistently funny in a book was in ‘Happiness May Vary’. I didn’t know how funny it was until after my first reader. And by the time I wrote ‘Fixing Cupid’ I felt very secure in my ability to make people laugh.

Who are your favorite comedians, do they influence your work?

Cristian: I don’t think that I have a favorite comedian. In fact if a friend is watching a standup comic on TV, I usually leave the room. I love situation comedies though. And I love funny movies. All of my favorite movies make me laugh. I love smart humor where the humor comes out of clever writing or the situation. I have to say though, ‘Fixing Cupid’ might be clever at times, but I pulled out every tool in my box to create the laughs in the story. The story makes me laugh and it seems to be doing the same for others.

What inspired you to write this particular story?

Cristian: ‘Fixing Cupid’ was actually inspired by true events as they say. For years I have had roommates. Over the 2010 Christmas break I was looking for a new one. I was writing the ad and I realized that my last 2 roommates had moved in with me pretty immature. But over the years that they were with me they matured, found girlfriends, and then bought a house and moved in with their fiancĂ©es.

I mentioned this to a friend and they said that I needed to move in with someone like myself because I am perpetually single. I laughed and agreed and then thought about what it would be like to live with someone that could guarantee you that you would find the love of your life. That is when I came up with the idea for ‘Fixing Cupid’.

What will readers like about your book?

Cristian: What I am most proud of about ‘Fixing Cupid’ is that it sweet and romantic while being laugh out loud funny. When I was editing it I was rolling around in my chair holding my stomach I was laughing so hard. I don’t usually laugh at my own stuff because I know where the jokes are going. So the fact that I found it funny tells me that those who read it will enjoy it even more.


Chapter 1

‘Is she or isn’t she,’ Ben wondered. Ben looked over at the 33 year old, elegantly dressed woman who sat nervously across the table from him. ‘She’s such a delight,’ Ben thought. ‘In 10 years when all of the other wives are secretly blaming their husbands for the last 10 pounds that they can’t get rid of, Sherry will still be sitting across from me in her pearls. Assuming that the manufacture doesn’t run out, she will still have her shiny blonde hair. She will still be wearing it in a tightly wound bun, and she will still have a stomach tight enough to bounce a quarter off.’

Ben, 37, was just a little older than Sherry, but in lifestyles they were worlds apart. Ben could be content to spend every night at home on the couch. He was the type that didn’t immediately take off his suit when he got home from the law firm. In fact, if Sherry was stuck at the gym, Ben sometimes took off his tie, and then put it back on when he knew she was coming home. The tie wasn’t necessary to complete the ensemble, but he always felt that it had the magical ability to make his butt look more taught, and who didn’t want that.

With her pearls and yoga body, Sherry was the perfect bookend. She wasn’t the professional that Ben was, but she was driven. And where she drove herself most was at the gym.

Sometimes she would come home so sore that she could barely walk straight. Her tightly quaffed bun would be slightly askew. And she would have a look in her eyes that if it wasn’t for the pearls, would make Ben think that she had a libido. But he knew Sherry, she didn’t. Women didn’t have libidos in the 1950’s and that is clearly where Sherry was from. And if she wasn’t technically from there, her stylist certainly was.

Ben sipped slowly on the last of the red wine. He looked over at his girlfriend who had just prepared a three course meal fit for a king. And like the queen that she was she had prepared all of his favorite things.

‘Well, that was a nice surprise,” Ben said wondering if the next course included sex.

‘Did you like everything?’ Sherry asked with the tense look on her face that usually accompanied Sherry’s unique brand of uptight, 1950’s housewife sex.

‘Sexy’, Ben thought. “No everything was perfect. You cooked all of my favorite things. You're perfect. I don't deserve you.”

Sherry clenched her jaw in that nervous way that she did whenever Ben would make his moves on her. When Ben saw that, crossing his legs was the only thing that he could do to not take her right then and there.

She looked down at her watch.

‘She can’t wait,’ Ben thought. “What's the matter Sherry? You keep looking at your watch,” he said seductively.

This was only a formality. He knew what was up. He knew that the tie he had worn was always her favorite. He remembered all of the times she would slither up to him and say, “Oh baby, that’s one sexy tie. You know what you can do with that tie?”

Yeah, Ben knew alright. He would then hang it up on the tie slat he removed it from and make love to her like an animal. That’s right, he would do it doggie style. And do you know why he would do it doggie style? Because that was really the only style that he knew.

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