Sunday, December 25, 2011

Ministry of Morgasm by Richard Buzzell

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Ministry of Morgasm deals with the role of pleasure in the lives of contemporary women. Against the backdrop of divorce trauma two sisters trying to save each other explore a human potential group that makes some dubious claims.


I’m plotting an intervention but one with a difference. This one will take place before the tragic descent into self-destructiveness unfolds. It will be a pre-emptive intervention. Also it will be a covert one. Krista, the target of the intervention, will not be aware that it’s happening. I think it will be easier this way because it’ll be harder for her to resist when she doesn’t know what’s going on.

Krista and I have been invited to a “sharing event” and it’s not a joke, at least not to those involved. It’s going to be a meeting of a small number of people to listen to a presentation on the topic of morgasm. I wouldn’t even consider going except that Krista’s going and she needs someone there to watch out for her. We owe the good fortune of our invitation to Krista’s friend Anita, who seems to want to suck us into her latest obsession.

Anita’s currently a devotee of the renowned therapist and author whom I cannot resist referring to as Dr. Morgasm. Krista has insisted that I stop using that moniker as she feels it’s pejorative. At first I argued that it’s just descriptive and carries with it no disrespect, but I gave up that argument for fear of discrediting myself. So to make up for being forced to use the woman’s proper name while in Krista’s company, I’m using the name Dr. Morgasm behind her back every chance I get.

Dr. M. wrote the book “A Girl’s Guide To Wow,” which explains her concept of morgasm. I refuse to read it but I’ve read enough about it. I prefer to call it “A Girl’s Guide To Smut,” although I do so only when Krista’s not around. She has the book on loan from Anita but she’s read only a few chapters of it.

At first I had no idea as to how much of a movement morgasm has become. It didn’t take long for me to figure out that it’s become a personal ministry in Anita’s life. That doesn’t surprise me. What surprises me is how many other people have fallen for it. It’s gone beyond the book to the point where there’s an entire organization built around it.

I’ve been doing quite a bit of research online and I’ve encountered numerous references to the morgasmists as “sponge-crushers” although this is not a term they officially sanction. Most of my time has been spent on the morgasm website trying to figure out what it’s all about. They’re not very straightforward about it. I get the impression that they’re trying to hide something. I’m not sure what. Maybe the fact that there’s not much substance there or maybe the fact that they’re a dangerous crotch-based cult. I don’t know that. I’m just speculating. They are clear about their belief that women are capable of far more pleasure than they’re normally experiencing, and that by fulfilling their pleasure potential they can re-define their entire relationship with their intimate partner. Heady claims for a conjugal relations site. There’s frequent mention of the need to address the “pleasure deficit.” This deficit is blamed for most of the problems that could possibly occur in any romantic relationship.

Another prominent feature on the website is the pleasure perspective paradox of female sexuality. It gets trotted out fairly frequently as a form of evidence in support of the theories of morgasm. The morgasmists reason that a limited enthusiasm for sex on the part of women makes no sense from a pleasure perspective. If women are achieving their morgasmic potential they’ll be experiencing much more pleasure than their male partners. Supposedly the pleasure differential between men and women is so great that male pleasure would barely even register on a female pleasure scale. Yet men continue to show more eagerness for sex than most women do. This makes sense within a reproductive model of sexuality in which men are trying to lure women into serving as incubators for their spawn. Within the morgasmic model female enthusiasm should equal or exceed that of males.

One thing that they do make quite clear throughout the site is that they don’t care for being referred to as sluts. If anything they feel they should be called anti-sluts because they advocate making access to sex more difficult. They contend that they’re far from being a male fantasy of lust-crazed women driven toward wantonness by their uncontrollable desire. Dr. Morgasm laments the fact that anyone who discusses optimizing the female pleasure experience will be subject to accusations of promoting licentiousness.

I find it quite interesting that they claim to be the next stage in the evolution of human sexuality. To me it seems like a step backward in the evolutionary process. It would have us acting less like humans and more like monkeys, or teenagers.

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